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Phoenix

04:30 Download
Kate Reid
09/30/2015
Kate Reid and K. Crisp

Story

"Phoenix" is the result of a collaboration between Kate and a woman living in the USA who is struggling to come to terms with her sexuality, her feelings for another woman, and what it can mean to conform to society's expectations. They worked together for several sessions on Skype and then Kate recorded the song in the studio with her band, Adam Popowitz, Toby Peter and Richard Brown. Kate plays the acoustic guitar and sings the vocals.

To find out more about Kate's collaborative songwriting service, go to the dashboard of this website and click on Our Lives in Song.

Lyrics

I’ve been doing a lot of running through my life
Running from them, running from myself, running from my truth
I’ve been hiding something inside of me 
And my foot’s on the gas
Feels like I’m driving a thousand miles too fast
And now I’m just running on empty

See, over the years, I’ve been making lists
I gotta do this, gotta do that
Get things done and prove I’m someone
I go to college, get good grades and graduate
Find a man, land a job and start a family
Cuz, that’s what they expect of me

Now, I’m tired of pretending and in the end
There’s nowhere to go when I feel boxed in and split in two 
I can’t seem to find a way to say it
I open my mouth but nothing comes out
Except some sweet smiling southern talk
But that’s not really who I am

And, I remember how it felt when I first crossed that line
How it felt to redefine myself and come clean in my own mind
We were listening to “Cannonball” and I still recall all I wanted 
Was to kiss her, we were just sixteen
But that wasn’t exactly on my list

Bridge
Since then, I feel like I’ve been dying except something’s coming alive

And now I’m standing here, my feet are on the edge
I’m looking out across the abyss and I see your face in the distance
But the hardest step is taking that leap of faith
And this whole thing might go up in flames
But I’m hoping that you’ll wait for me
Cuz from these ruins baby, I’m going to rise
And when I breathe
Will I find peace?
And if I’m tender and I’m tough
Is that good enough?
Am I good enough?

So, I’m done with running, I’m done with checking my list
I’m giving it all up to chance with a whispered prayer and a touch of risk
And I keep stoking this fire that’s burning inside me for you
Knowing that on some morning so sublime
I’ll be waking up with your body next to mine
Your body next to mine